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Force Night

19th Mar 06

Hang on, Force Night is finally here? Fucking great, I almost thought this night would never come. It all started around 6 months ago with a garbled conversation with a few buddies about which crappy mid-80s action movie had motorbikes and dune buggy jeep things that all shoot rockets. Bikes that shoot rockets? Brilliant!

But the plot thickened. A few clicks around google soon revealed a couple of options. Were we talking about The Delta Force starring our man Chuck, Hank... sorry, Lee Marvin and Robert Forster playing a sweaty Arab bomber, or the outrageously camp looking Megaforce helmed by Cannonball Run and Smokey and the Bandit director Hal Needham? Or even better, are we talking both?

A few clicks on ebay later it looked like 2-movie Force Night was ready, that is until Zomblee turned round and said, "You can't do a Force Night without Raw Force, Jim." Oh yeah Raw Force, starring the amazingly versatile Cameron Mitchell. And hard to track down too; I lost an ebay auction recently (£38.50 it went for on big box ex-rental!) but I thankfully made a friend over at www.superstrangevideo.com, meaning my top quality DVD-R copy arrived just in time. Wow.

And Lifeforce as the introductory movie was a bit of a no-brainer. Vampires, space ships, London overrun by life sucking zombies and that sexy naked chick from the cover. Bring it on.

Lifeforce The Delta Force Megaforce Raw Force 


Lifeforce (1985)

Plot
Vampires, space ships, London over run by life sucking zombies and that sexy naked chick from the cover. Jean-Luc Picard's in it too.

Jim
So without further ado, we kicked off the evening with Tobe Hooper's regularly overlooked almost-classic Lifeforce, a film none of us had seen since its original rental release some 20 years ago. Picture the scene; it's 1985 and Steve Railsback is a Colonel on the space shuttle Churchill, which has been sent up in to space to intercept Halley's Comet and presumably run some scientific experiments or something. But wait, what's that massive structure in its wake? Should they take those cool self-propelling space suits like the ones in Moonraker and investigate, even though there's a radio blackout with Earth so if anything goes wrong they're all screwed? Hmmm...

A few weeks later, a deserted Churchill drifts back into Earth orbit. Well, deserted that is except for those three perfect human looking specimens in those weird clear cases. Oh well, might as well bring them down to London's Space Research Centre and examine the bodies more closely. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Well, plenty. While Frank Finlay argues with British politicians about what they're going to do, the female gets up, sucks the life out of a guard and then goes on a bit of a naked walk about London, much to everyone's satisfaction. What's that actresses name again? "Matilda May. Her name's been ingrained in my brain since I was 12!" Fair enough Rawshark, that's what happens if you spend a whole film naked, I guess. "What other movies has she been in then?" - Zomblee.

Anyway, it's around now that the irritating Colonel Kane turns up in a nice roll neck, just in time for the dead guard (who did look like an aging crooner with that gaunt look and neatly cropped hair, prompting a few lines of "start spreading the news" out of Zomblee) to get up zombie-like and suck the life out of one of the doctors. Then the dead doctor gets up two hours later and tries the same thing. Can you see where this is going?

Meanwhile, Steve Railsback turns up in the Churchill's escape pod, Jean Luc Picard makes a bizarre guest appearance looking not one day younger than he does now, and Matilda May transforms into a red head wearing a bin liner. The plot veers away from London for ages actually, although we soon discover that it's all a cunning ruse, and while they've been gallivanting around the countryside, London has been overrun by a swarm of life-sucking zombie type dudes. Thank goodness then for Frank Finlay's cockamamy iron stake through the heart plan to save the day.

So, despite nobody liking the guy who played Kane ("They could have got a better SAS man," - Rawshark. "Yeah, prick..." - Zomblee), and despite Lifeforce having one of the flattest scripts ever, we all had a great time. Yes, this movie does have more money than sense ("Whoa... budget!" - Zomblee), but sometimes that's a good thing. You know what I mean.

"Miss Haversham, could you come with me please?"

Rawshark
Ah yes, the delectable Matilda May and her naked vampire walk around London. Once seen, never forgotten. Shame the same can’t be said about the film itself though, for although Tobe Hooper’s Lifeforce proved to be good fun with some interesting ideas and high-budget space scenes, Peter Firth and Steve Railsback (of The Stuntman fame) conspire to contribute to a largely forgettable ‘epic’, based on the book The Space Vampires by Colin Wilson.

It all starts off so well with some gorgeous space photography, a la 2001, accompanied by an extravagant Henry Mancini score. Steve Railsback and his space shuttle crew discover a 150-mile long spaceship and find three naked humans (“In pods like Superman 2 – Jim). They take them back to the shuttle, but it’s not long before the crew are killed and the three naked ‘vampires’ end up in London. There they wake up, suck people’s life forces and escape, prompting SAS Colonel Kane to team up with a returned Steve Railsback to prevent the inevitable apocalypse.

It’s a cracking idea, but unfortunately the script is not really up to speed with the concept. With lots of poorly written dialogue, and padded-out and confusing scenes (why has May tuned into a red hair woman? Give us back Matilda May now!), the film could easily have been trimmed by 20 minutes and been a far better affair. Rubbish models of an exploding London and a hopelessly miscast Colonel Kane don’t help matters either.

Anyway, it’s actually all good, clean fun, and if this was really the start of the end for Tobe Hooper after the ’success’ of Poltergeist, it’s a pretty good bow-out for the man. Besides, any film featuring Jean-Lic Picard’s first onscreen kiss (with Steve Railsback no less), zombie soldiers and a naked Matilda May is ok by me.

“I’m not paid to believe nuffink, aren’t I?”

Zomblee
Yes indeed, welcome to Tobe Hooper does Budget. Sit back and enjoy the slightly overlong ride. It'll take you on a journey from men in spacesuits that clearly "weren't designed for erections" (thanks Rawshark), to perfectly formed alien breasts, a plethora of hypnotisms and Patrick Stewart talking with a woman's voice, eventually arriving at London Armageddon - zombie style. You have to wait for 86 minutes to get to all the zombie stuff though, but that's ok. I'm in for the long haul here boys, I'll see you on the other side.

Bizarre, outlandish and downright audacious, Lifeforce is a fat slice of big budgeted 80's hokum, and one gets the sense that the makers were biting off more than they could chew. But that is a very minor quibble. When you have a specimen like Matilda May walking about with come-to-bed-eyes and an appealing fashion sense (i.e. naked), coupled with a really rather amusing set of characters who wish this was a Quatermass movie, as well as a beltingly spectacular last 20 minutes or so, who gives a toss about whether they took on more than they could handle? That's part of why its fun.

Tobe Hooper has certainly done a lot worse than this, but considering his debut and Lifeforce's place in his body of work, I can understand why Jim said, "You can almost smell the decline" when the end titles rolled. It's almost as if Hooper may have subsequently perfected working with a proper budget given further opportunities, but alas, sadly, this wasn't to be the case. Hey, at least he stays true to the genre he started with.

Another big plus of course is that Lifeforce is a big Hollywood picture relocated to London, UK - I feel a better person for having witnessed a huge umbrella spaceship sucking London's souls through the top of St. Paul's cathedral. Geographical inconsistencies may abound but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn, especially when there are hordes of life-sucking zombies running amok on London's dark streets. Essentially though, this is a love story. I think.

"Don't worry, a naked girl is not going to get out of this complex."

Lifeforce

Director
Tobe Hooper

Cast
Steve Railsback
Peter Firth
Frank Finlay
Mathilda May
Patrick Stewart
Michael Gothard
Nicholas Ball

Rating
Jim
Rawshark
Zomblee

Runtime
116 mins

Available From

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Amazon US
CD WOW

Click on the icons above to purchase this title and support Eat My Brains!


The Delta Force (1986)

Plot
Chuck and Lee team up to take on terrorists

Zomblee
Wow, another movie with a budget. What's happening here, Jim? This cast has got the kind of actors we don't normally see at Zombie Club. Apart from George Kennedy that is. Man, I love that big guy, and in this spirited slice of bearded 80's testosterone, he gets to play a priest passenger of the commercial aircraft that's been hijacked by Robert Forster's Abdul - Palestinian terrorist ("Beirut! Fly to Beirut!"). "Look out for the sweaty Arab clutching the briefcase nervously!" was Jim's advice to the airport staff - if only they could hear him then we wouldn't have needed to call in the Norris Force.

Rawshark was first to observe how intense and brilliant Forster is here - it's one of those times where ZC goes all silent while Forster walks around the plane with a gun, scaring the bejesus out of everyday Americans and you know he means what he says. Am I taking The Delta Force too seriously here? Perhaps, but it's actually not that bad. If you take out Chuck Norris and all that red-blooded American bullshit it works surprisingly well as a tense, taut hijack movie.

The Jewish selection sequence is actually quite serious, moving stuff, with the always-likeable Martin Balsam turning in one of his best ever performances as Ben Kaplan. I can't believe I’m saying positive things about this movie, but it really does have its moments - moments that are usually indebted to acting from greats such as Kennedy, Balsam, Forster and Shelley Winters. But it goes downhill. Fast. And I lost interest and started thinking about how much I wanted to watch Rawforce. Ya see, not only does this movie clock in at over 2 hours (waaaaay too long), meandering about like an over plotted slice of 80's cheese, but also features Norris at his cringe worthy all-American, one-expression-fits-all worst. When he walks past, Delta Force guys say, "Do you know who that guy is?" to each other, in complete awe of the bearded one, probably because he's got one of those motorbikes that shoots rockets out the back. And you'd better believe he knows how to use them, too. Without even aiming.

I feel embarrassed about liking any aspect of this movie, but any moments of weakness were soon rectified the moment that fucking awful gung-ho hero music (labelled by us lot as "Chuck's Theme") accompanied the Norris Force on their rescue mission. Lee Marvin wasn't even able to salvage this one - sadly, his last movie. The 80's strikes again.

"This is a hijack!"

Jim
Man, I know I may hold a bit of a torch for all things bright and Chuck, but I really think The Delta Force should be given a bit more credit than that. Yes, it’s a bit dodgy in its political correctness and, yes, Chuck does seem to save the day with the flags flying high and, yes, all the Palestinians are represented by stereotypical hairy sweaty Arab type characters. But it’s the 80s, and 80s politically incorrect naivety is – dare I say it – really quite funny.

But there’s so more to The Delta Force than just that. After the obligatory semi-flashback intro of Chuck on his last mission before he decides to quit Delta Force (“I’m sure you’ll do one more mission Chuck…” - Rawshark), the film spends ages swimming in disaster movie territory. It’s great actually, something Zomblee summed up really well when I asked him what he thought so far. “It's like an airport film - I really like it so far - it's brilliant – yeah!” he gushed enthusiastically, followed by “I’ve just seen the back of George Kennedy’s head!”. Ah George Kennedy, “getting on another plane…” as Rawshark pointed out, before promising never to forget his name again.

Anyway, Robert Forster plays it incredibly straight as the Arab hijack leader (“I keep seeing Ray Liotta in Turbulence.” – Rawshark), and there’s a lot of risqué plot about Jew, Israeli connections, and general whinging as they even manage to wangle a German stewardess into the story who refuses to identify Jewish passengers because, you know, of the holocaust. Ouch, getting a bit uncomfortable? Yes, but fear not because whenever things are getting too delicate, the action cuts to Chuck, usually on a motorbike, or Chuck involved in a big deployment scene (big planes taking off, boats docking, that kind of thing) all the while accompanied by the tremendously triumphant A-Team style theme tune.

So, there’s lots of very tight, if politically questionable, hijack action, with hostages being moved around, hostages being beaten up and Middle Eastern countries refusing to let the hijacked plane land, at least until the hijackers could prove they mean business (“Someone’s getting hit with a seat arm? Okay land.”). Then the hostages are pulled off to a hidden location (we all missed how that happened though), a load more terrorists are allowed on board (we all missed how that happened too) and all they all refer to each other as ‘brother’. Then Beirut comes up in conversation, there’s a bizarre subplot about a priest getting pushed off a balcony, a cool car chase where Chuck shoots loads of terrorists’ vehicles making them explode instantly, and then it’s that cool ending with the Delta Force jeeps and motorbikes.

In fact, the silly rocket shooting motorbike ending is just so ridiculous that I couldn’t help but love it. Delta Force know how to go camo-style (“I need more shoe polish for my face!” - Rawshark) and have a decent range in mystifying gadgets ( “What’s Chuck sellotaping that sausage too?” - Zomblee) but they’re not so good at evacuating in a hurry. They always seem to kick the stairs away and make the last man (usually Chuck) climb a rope to get on to the plane, even as it’s taking off. ( “What’s the point in that?” - Rawshark) I don’t know man, but that seems to be Chuck’s way, and that’s good enough for me.

“You are a very brave woman.”

Rawshark
It’s no secret that I’m no huge fan of ‘The Bearded One’, so it was with a fair amount of trepidation that I approached The Delta Force. But hey, as Jim and Zomblee have pointed out, this film also features Lee Marvin, Robert Forster and George Kennedy (oh, the guy from Wacko!), so it can’t be all bad can it?

Filmed in 1986, this was the age when you could get away with shoe-polishing up Robert Forster and getting him to play a maniacal Palestinian terrorist. And to be fair, The Delta Force does have a decent opening with an intense hostage situation on board the jumbo jet. Forster is actually fantastic in the role of Abdul, calling everyone ‘brother’, and ordering US Navy men to be hit with seat arms until the plane is allowed to land in Beirut. George Kennedy is great too as the Father who volunteers himself as a Jew in the uncomfortable Israeli passport scene.

But then Chuck spoils it all by turning up as the Major ‘who has no faults’, and indulging in lots of failed action sequences that involve running around with guns and Lee Marvin. First there’s a failed shoot-out at the airport, then a car chase with a VW camper and ”sewer tactics” (Jim), before Delta Force storm a building with rocket-firing motorcycles. Chuck fires a bazooka, Chuck slides down a line firing a machine-gun. Chuck rides his bike into the sunset. Chuck fires rockets. Then blows up Robert Forster with an exhaust pipe mortar and a clenched jaw. ”Cheeky Chucky” indeed, Jim.

Luckily Chuck just has enough time to ride his bike back to the take-off point, leap over the airport’s security gates and perform an impressive stunt (although it was probably a stunt man) transferring from bike to plane. Delta Force land home, and even though they have one body bag with them, it’s USA!! Hooray!!! Personally though, if I want the world saving by a crack team of American commandos, next time I’ll stick with Team America. Fuck yeah!

”All men sit at the windows, all women on the aisle”

The Delta Force

Director
Menahem Golan

Cast
Chuck Norris
Lee Marvin
Martin Balsam
Joey Bishop
Robert Forster
Lainie Kazan
George Kennedy

Rating
Zomblee
Jim
Rawshark

Runtime
125 mins

Available From

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Amazon US
CD WOW

Click on the icons above to purchase this title and support Eat My Brains!


Megaforce (1982)

Plot
If you're in trouble, and no one else can help. Maybe you should hire... The Megaforce!

Rawshark
And so from one bunch of World-saving crack commando action-figures to another as Hal Needham pops up to bring us Megaforce, a phantom army of supreme fighting men with ”the most powerful weapons science can devise”. They also have brightly coloured motorbikes, and an alarming taste in lycra outfits (”I keep thinking their suits have bra straps” - Zomblee) and are led by the charismatic General Ace Hunter, played by a bearded Barry Bostwick, who impressed Jim because ”even his hair glows”.

Anyway, Hunter and Megaforce are soon enlisted for a four-minute mission called ”Operation Hook, Line and Sinker” to blow up a supply area, so they prepare for the raid by showing off their 3D holographic technology and vehicles with ”inverse photo-sensitive skin”. Hunter then flirts with Sara who wants to accompany the team on the mission, before taking her for a helicopter test and a parachute montage scene (”Sorry guys, I forgot about the parachute montage guys” - Jim) that’s as drippy as it sounds.

Needless to say, Sara’s ultimately not allowed to come along on the raid (“Is it because I’m a woman?”), so three planes take off to enact the night-time mass jeep and motorcycle parachute drop. It was at this point that a ticking clock appeared on screen that counted back from 04.00 and all of us at ZC cheered as we sat back to watch a great action sequence with lots of cool stunts, with the added bonus of ‘real-time countdown’.

It all goes wrong for the team on the escape unfortunately though (these missions always do you know) as Hunter has a run-in with a past friend / foe called Guerera (”He stole my lighter, and that’s the way it is”). Cue an ending with lots of tanks, a cunning plan to use the down slope of a mountain, explosions, smoke screens, and a flying bike which ultimately makes Megaforce a cheesy, yet enjoyable indie action flick that is carried off with a fair amount of style (if you can ignore the bikes and the lycra that is).

“That’s totally inapplicable to anything that’s going on here, and it’s just dumb.”

Zomblee
Hal Needham you say? Bring it on, Jim. I'm up for anything directed by the (ex-stunt-) man responsible for The Cannonball Run and Smokey and the Bandit. I reckon that if Megaforce is a memory from your childhood, then it'd be a pretty special memory. But you know how memory distorts - rose tinted glasses and all that nonsense. Truth is, folks, Megaforce wants to be the Darth Vader of futuristic action, but it's more like an Ewok.

Needham does have a weakness for engine-assisted action, as most of his films illustrate. This one is no exception, with cars, motorbikes, jeeps, buggies, planes - anything that goes VROOOM! darting about all over the place and exploding in spectacular fashion but failing to hold action scenes together in terms of choreography or sequence. One big plus however is the onscreen timer where MG have to be in and out in 4 mins - I think we all agreed that we'd never seen that done in a movie before so that gets a review star all by itself.

Now, who is Barry Bostwick? He is the main hero of Megaforce and although it feels wrong to say it, his costume is a really good reason to see this 80's turkey. Dressed in tighter-than-skin-tight sliver lycra and sporting a "gay blue ribbon" (Jim) in his hair, he's sure to amaze and entertain you as a poor man's Chuck Norris who walks with a REAL man's walk, which is, according to Jim, necessary if you're going to make the whole skin-tight lycra thing work.

Rawshark stared questioning this one towards the end, when the bike took off into the air and started flying ("What's providing the thrust?") and Jim was as enthused as ever when we're watching what is essentially a movie for boys under ten. Me, I was starting to have trouble with my eyelids but something very special was about to happen at ZC, so I knew I would be all right for a while. I'm talking about Rawforce.

"I'm a soldier, not a politician!"

Jim
What a minute guys, you’ve forgotten the sequence where Barry Bostwick as Hunter and the love interest talk behind a screen. You know, where his thumb sticks out just a little too much at just the right but unfortunate height for old Hunter here, because it makes it look like his penis is popping out. That’s right, it had us pissing ourselves with laughter at the time, and much effort was made to pause it at the right time so that Rawshark could take a picture of it on his phone (which took ages actually, it’s not easy sometimes on 20 year old VHS tapes).

Anyway Megaforce, when I explained to Zomblee that it was Hal Needham he got very excited. “It’s him, from Cannonball Run!” - he shouted when that bald guy who tries to stop the race stepped on to the screen. And why not? What’s not to like about Hal Needham making a silly kid’s action movie with motorbikes that pull wheelies and shoot rockets out of their handlebars?

Well, one thing caused major concern. “Every government in the world donates funding to Megaforce,” explains Barry Bostwick to Devon Miles from Knightrider. “And will you look at the state of them?” complained Zomblee, referring to those silver spandex cat suits of course. He wouldn’t let it go actually, mumbling stuff like “look at the state of him…” and “just look at him…” and “I can’t get used to that at all…” And to tell you the truth I can’t blame him, that blue gay headband was ridiculous.

A bit like the whole movie really. When Bostwick starts to explain a plan with “We rendezvous here at 4:17” and then talks of pulling out at “4:21”, you know these guys work with crackerjack accuracy. I don’t think anyone was prepared for the onscreen 4 minute countdown throughout the whole bike and jeep attack sequence just to prove the point though, that was something else. Wouldn’t it be cool if more action movies did that? Okay, maybe not.

Rawshark was loving it though, “I actually prefer this to Delta Force,” he said, which was when I actually twigged for the first time that he really doesn’t like Chuck Norris movies all that much. Until now I always thought he was joking. Mind you, he did then say, “Yeah I’m enjoying it, unless his bike flies now…” Shame.

“Hi I’m Henry Silva. I was in Buck Rogers.”

Megaforce

Director
Hal Needham

Cast
Barry Bostwick
Michael Beck
Persis Khambatta
Edward Mulhare
Ralph Wilcox
Henry Silva
George Furth

Rating
Rawshark
Zomblee
Jim

Runtime
99 mins

Available From

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Amazon US
CD WOW

Click on the icons above to purchase this title and support Eat My Brains!


Raw Force (1982)

Plot
Zombies, monks, martial arts students and loads of gratuitous nudity. Magic.

Jim
All right then, that’s enough of that motorbikes that shoot rockets out the back silliness, it’s time to get back to the kind of movie that makes Zombie Club great. Hello Raw Force, a bikini kung-fu zombie action car crash of a movie starring the ever versatile Cameron Mitchell. He’s great, isn’t he?

Anyway, you’re going to love this. The action starts on a beach in the Philippines with a bunch of chicks in a bamboo cage. It’s a slave trade deal you see between this slave trader guy and a bunch of creepy monks. So, the monks pick some girls out and rip off one of their tops for no reason, but they take a dislike to another one of them and throw her to this zombie samurai guy who’s been hiding in the bushes.

“Fucking hell!” said Zomblee, which pretty much nailed it. But it gets better; the action now shifts to a boat captained by Cameron Mitchell and a bunch of holidaying martial arts students. Yeah, holidaying martial artists. On Cameron Mitchell’s boat. Raw Force where have you been all my life?

What else? Oh yeah – Warrior Island. Let me explain the plot, Warrior Island is that beach from the beginning where the slave trade was going down. There’s lots of slave trade for jade plot action in this film, I think it’s the main plot of the movie actually, with the monks trading jade for the slave girls. They need the slave girls for some ritual that they use to raise the dead. Warrior Island you see is a burial ground for disgraced martial artists and the monks are raising them from the grave to defend the island against, say, holidaying martial artist that happen to be in the area. Good stuff I think you’ll agree.

And here’s how it happens. There are lots of sleazy bar antics with holidaying martial artist getting pissed and several bungled kidnap attempts. There’s also a “fantastic amount of gratuitous nudity” (Zomblee, I think). Then the action shifts to the boat, where we instantly warm to the cool Chinese chef (who’s bound to be another kung-fu expert, let’s face it) who tells them not to go to Warrior Island because it’s cursed. But it’s too late; a bunch of weirdly dressed slave traders attack ( “It’s the village people!” - Rawshark), the boat gets mashed in the ensuing mayhem and the survivors (the holidaying martial artists and Cameron Mitchell, thank God) end up in a raft.

Hang on, isn’t that land? Isn’t it, wait…Warrior Island? Why yes it is. And so begins the crazy end segment involving a white suited guy with a bazooka, chef going ape with a pair of nunchukas and a very bizarre “slow motion table tip”. (Rawshark). There are also quite a lot of kung-fu-ing zombies, and the holidaying martial artists really go to town. In fact, is it me or is this film one of the best trashy kung-fu zombie action movies ever? I think it’s great, and it’s a rare example of a low-budget movie with convoluted video box art where everything on the cover actually is in the movie. Brilliant, no wonder Zomblee was so excited.

“Hello I’m Cameron Mitchell. I was in The Toolbox Murders

Rawshark
Oh Raw Force, where have you been hiding all our lives? Seemingly made specifically for Zombie Club screenings, Raw Force has all the ingredients of low-brow b-movie cult cinema (well, maybe home entertainment), and it knows it. Topless (and bottomless) girls, kung-fu kicking chefs, slave traders, evil Germans with moustaches, Cameron Mitchell and sword-wielding zombies. This is exactly the type of film you’ll unfortunately never get to see on Sunday afternoon TV.

Despite Jim’s protracted plot explanations above, the storyline is quite simple. The monks of Warrior Island trade girls for Jade so that they can be sacrificed to raise an army of the undead. Meanwhile a group of holidaying Martial Artists board Cameron Mitchell’s boat to visit Warrior Island. The traders shipwreck them along the way, yet they eventually drift to Warrior Island in a raft, where they rescue their friends, fight off zombies and escape.

Along the way, we are treated to many well-choreographed fights, orgiastic boat parties and acres of naked female flesh. One fight in particular seems to last longer that the one in They Live as a Martial Arts holiday-maker beats up a slave trader in a room on the boat, whilst a naked girl lies tied up on the bed the whole time.

So what if the ending does tend to drag a little as our motley crew of fighters take on wave after wave of slow / fast zombies, this film is as cheap as it’s Philippines location (”That’s the Philippines blowing up again” - Zomblee) and just as cheerful. It’s a world where plane pilots read Black Belt magazine, LAPD SWAT policewomen fight in bikinis (”Bikini Kung Fu!!” - Jim), and nasty German men get eaten by Piranhas, and it’s a world in which I want to live. To be continued…

”What do you call that?” “Fetishes”.

Zomblee
Movies that are shot very inexpensively in the Philippines work so well at ZC. They're usually awful, with loads of explosions. You can forget logic too - who needs logic when it's 'force movie number 4' and it's about karate experts on holiday with loads of female breasts on Warriors Island? "So, it's about a bunch of holiday kung-fu-ers?" Now you can see why I was so excited, Rawshark. This is exploitation at its trashy best.

The T&A count in Rawforce is like nothing I've ever seen. It's like a Russ Meyer movie but down a few cup sizes. And it's good. Because when we're not being treated to gratuitous female buffery in all its glory, we've got some wicked chopsocky action and Cameron Mitchell as an old, salty sea dog. There's also a Hitler lookalike who keeps popping up in various scenes when the flesh-eating monks, zombies and the piranhas are taking a shooting break. "Everybody's having sex with everybody!" Rawshark pointed out but before you have time to enjoy it, something else random and exploitative in nature occurs to keep this crazy, mixed-up, kung-fu sex horror medley afloat until its 86 minutes elapse.

It's the best trashy kung-fu-tit romp i've seen in ages, and i'd very much like to own a copy for my increasingly weird movie collection. See it if you can.

"Hi I'm Zomblee, I was too pissed to write any quotes (or much else) down throughout Rawforce."

Raw Force

Director
Edward D. Murphy

Cast
Cameron Mitchell
Geoffrey Binney
Hope Holiday
Jillian Kesner
John Dresden
Jennifer Holmes
Rey King

Rating
Jim
Rawshark
Zomblee

Runtime
86 mins

Available From

Amazon UK
Amazon US
CD WOW

Click on the icons above to purchase this title and support Eat My Brains!


Conclusion
Oh, Is it all over so soon? Shit, I was really enjoying that.

So let's recap. We've seen bikini kung-fu, zombie samurai, bikes that shoot rockets out of the handle bars, that bloke from Cannonball Run, some ridiculous spandex, Robert Forster dressed as an arab, George Kennedy dressed asa a priest, Chuck Norris shooting rockets out of the back of his bike, Matilda May naked quite a few times, Patrick Stewart talking like a girl and Frank Finlay's cockamamy iron steak through the heart plan in action. Not, I think you'll agree, all bad for one night's work.

I had another film up my sleeve, Avenging Force starring Michael Dudikoff, but the boys were tired and it was going to be pretty tough to top Rawforce so we called it a night.

Tune in next time for Zomblee's Italian Cop Night, mostly starring Ray Lovelock, who apparently is Italian after all.


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Killer slugs and chainsaw-weilding maniacs, we take in two of Senor Simon's finest pieces.
Juan Piquer Simon Night
Panther Night
10th Feb 10
Brian Trenchard-Smith actually said to us, "Expect nothing from the Panther pics..."
Panther Night
Klaus Kinski Sci-Fi Night
23rd Jan 10
Klaus Kinski, love him or hate him. Or both.
Klaus Kinski Sci-Fi Night
Revenge Night
16th Nov 09
See Clint Howard exact terrible revenge on his brother for being more successfull.
Revenge Night
Sergio Martino Night
29th Oct 09
Giallo'd be thy name...
Sergio Martino Night
Monsters and Dinosaurs Night
5th Oct 09
Horny rubber humanoids and stop-motion dinos, what more could you want?
Monsters and Dinosaurs Night
Trollogy Night
9th Sep 09
Trolls, goblins and creepy killer plants, tonight's line-up includes the world's Best Worst Movie ever made - fact!
Trollogy Night
Italian Post-Apoc Night
17th Aug 09
Two more Italian post-apoc movies. Al Cliver's in one of them.
Italian Post-Apoc Night
Late Fulci Night
14th Jul 09
Come inside and witness some seriously ugly sex...
Late Fulci Night
Warrior Women Day
10th Jun 09
Sometimes it feels great just to be alive.
Warrior Women Day
Ozploitation Night
11th May 09
An Australian buffet of B-Movies including big trucks, dingos, men with balls, lots of stunts and prog-rock!
Ozploitation Night
70s Kidnap Night
13th Apr 09
Expect funny masks, claustrophobic settings, sexual humiliation, and great twist endings...
70s Kidnap Night
Chinese Super Ninja Night
29th Mar 09
Complete with lady ninja mud wrestling sequences. I'm not making this up.
Chinese Super Ninja Night
Lee Frost Night
4th Mar 09
Freakish experiements... all girl gangs... disorientated gorillas... it must be Lee Frost Night!
Lee Frost Night
Pound of Flesh Night
14th Feb 09
It was a cheap stump, but Al Cliver's one-armed turn stole the evening like a one-armed bandit.
Pound of Flesh Night
Fishy Treasure Night
29th Jan 09
Come inside and witness the dropping of some beef.
Fishy Treasure Night
Night of the Demons Night
31st Dec 08
What's the most imaginative thing you can do with a lipstick?
Night of the Demons Night
Shameless Giallo Killer Night
26th Nov 08
"Have you not guessed who the killer is yet guys? Come on..."
Shameless Giallo Killer Night
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